


Fix this

by MysticallyGallavich



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Compliant until it's not, Fixme, Fixthisshitshow, Fkthisbs, Gallavich, Ian act like man, Love, M/M, MandyknowsIan, Pining, Postmexico
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 21:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13039881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticallyGallavich/pseuds/MysticallyGallavich
Summary: Mandy travels home to Chicago to see her nephew and to talk some sense into her best friend, sometimes Ian really just needs a friend to tell him when he's being an idiot.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching...shameless at the begining of the season, and of course...it sent me into a rage...it usually does anymore...So this poped into my head. The things I needed Mandy to come back and say to her friend. because Ian needs a friend right now to slap him in his head. So here is my fix of that, a little Mandy and Ian friendship followed by of course a happy ending...because i need this.

Mandy walked around the station looking around, looking for any sign of her best friend from long ago. It had been what felt like ages since she had been in this windy town, and she knew so much had changed, everything had changed but one thing would always remain the same, the adoration she had for the man she called her best friend since she was a mere teenager. She saw the lockers lined up in a row in the room, and a girl standing at the far end pulling up her hair into a bun.  She was just about to get the woman’s attention to ask her if she knew Ian when she heard her speak into her phone.

 

“Gallagher, please tell me you are not over at the teen center again, give it up man. You ran off with your ex, he’s not forgiving that anytime soon…yeah..Okay, I’ll be there to pick you up in twenty.”  Mandy stared at the woman curiously…She didn’t have to ask which ex Ian had run off with, she knew Ian well enough to know and she knew that when her brother escaped as she had been told that he would not beable to resist seeing ian one last time before he headed to parts unknown.

“excuse me, can I help you?” the woman asked suddenly.

“actually…I believe you can.” Mandy answered.

 

 

It had taken a bit of convincing but finally, Mandy had gotten Sue to agree to take her over to see Ian.  “Old friends huh, that means you knew…his ex?” sue asked as she drove towards the center.

“You could say that we share a bloodline.” Mandy laughed when Sue looked over at her.  “The ex is my brother.” She said and laughed more when the woman's eyes went wide with shock. “can’t believe..”

“that ian ran off? Me either.”

“Nah, him running off after Mickey isn’t the surprising part, the fact that he came back…now that is the real shocker.” She said shrugging.

“really? He seemed to really like Trevor, well he still does…why throw that away and run off?” Sue asked and it was clear to Mandy that this woman had never met Mickey. “you think he should have stayed away?” she finished her thought and mandy shook her head.

“Not necessarily. Do I think he should run away from Chicago, probably, I did, do I think running off with my convict of a brother is the smartest thing in the world? Maybe not, but logic isn’t always in the equation when it comes to those two. Ian and Mickey have a pull that nobody could ever possibly understand. It wasn’t always smart but it always just kind of was.” She said as an answer. She didn’t know this Trevor, Ian had mentioned him once or twice on the phone but that was really all but she did know Ian and she knew her brother, and there was nothing and no one that could or ever would compare. He reasons behind Ian returning to Chicago weren’t completely clear to her yet but she knew it had nothing to do with this other guy, there was much more to it than ian just realizing he had a boyfriend back home and that was  what she was here to find out. Well that and to make sure her nephew was taken care of.

\--

When Mandy stepped off of the rig, and spotted ian he was leaned up against a wall, talking to who she assumed was Trevor. He was talking uncomfortably, a version of Ian she hadn’t seen in years. Gone was her confident best friend and he was replaced with something of a kicked puppy. It was unnerving to say the least and this Trevor guy obviously didn’t know what a catch her best friend was because he was standing there, basically ignoring Ian’s words, he looked smug, like it wasn’t the first time he had been in the presence of a groveling ian and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. She stood by as long as she could and she whispered to sue.

“he like this a lot?” 

“ever since he came back.”

“Ian Clayton Gallagher, what in the world do you think you are doing?” she spoke, waiting for her voice to sink in and he stopped in his tracks and whipped around his focus turned away from the moron he was trying to win over and back to her. “His face went from uncomfortable to bright as the sun.

“Mandy??!” He said before moving swiftly to pick her up and swing her around. “what are you doing here? how did you know where to find me…Oh my god, I have missed you.” He said happily and she laughed.

“she was wondering around the station looking for you. Shes a persuasive one.” Sue spoke from behind them.

“that she is. I didn’t even know you were in town. How long?” he said giddily just like the ian she knew.

“well I came to see my nephew, seems his mother is having some immigration issues, and I just couldn’t not see my best friend. Wasn’t sure you’d be here…after…but here you are.” She said as he sat her back down.

“yeah…about that…we can discuss all that later…”

“sore subject?” she said raising her eyebrows and looking over at the man standing against the wall.

“Mands…” Ian started speaking. “Trevor this is my best friend Mandy…Mandy this is..”  
 

“the most recent ex…yeah I got that.” She said sarcastically. 

“mandy…don’t.”

“Now Ian Gallagher, when have you ever known me to not say exactly what I'm thinking?” She asked crossing her arms.

“Point taken, and you can say whatever you think…later tonight. I have to work…I can meet you for dinner after my shift.” He says semi-sternly.

“You have time until your shift starts.” She says smiling coyly.

“I have to go get dressed.” He says looking over at sue, silently begging for the conformation.

“Uniform is in the truck Gallagher…we know that you were just gonna hang out here until we get a call anyway.” She says and he groans but nods anyway.

\--

Trevor keeps his distance but Mandy can see him staring at them, ready to listen.  “You gonna tell me what happened with that? When did you become so...”

“so what? I made a mistake, I'm trying to make up for it. Trying to win him back.” He says as if its just a simple fact. Mandy rolls her eyes.

“Mistake huh? A mistake is something you do that if you could repeat you wouldn’t do the same thing…you telling me you would take it all back…those last moments with Mickey…You gonna stand there and tell me you would give up any of those moments for another shot at…that?” she says all this in a hushed tone but she can see Trevor eyeing them. “Which part was the mistake ian…leaving with my brother, or coming back and acting like this…”

“Like what?” Ian asks silently praying for a call to get him out of this conversation.

“Like a pathetic puppy, someone with no confidence, are you acting out of guilt…or is this really what you want? If he could be here right now…would you still be chasing after someone like him? or?” She asks softly.

“or what? I don’t understand this mandy, when I was dating Caleb, you said I moved up from your brother, now you're all about me and Mick…since when do you play the protective sister stick.” He asked and she saw Trevor's face, oh yeah that fuckwit was definitely listening.

“I'm not bein protective of Mickey. He doesn’t need me to. My brother can and always have been able to take care of himself, it’s just a question Ian. It’s easy to chase after someone else when he’s not here, but what if he was Ian? You tell me honestly that he means nothing to you, that you made a mistake, that Mickey isn’t what you want any more, then fine. You telling me that Mr.pretends not to be listening over there is the love of your life? That Mickey is the past and he is your future? Is that what you are honestly saying to me?”

“Mandy, it isn’t that simple…Yes, he got out, and I let my past feelings take me away but it ist who I am anymore. Being on the run for the rest of my life. Giving up my job and my stability and yes my boyfriend or my ex as of now, for that, it isn’t who I am anymore. I need to be here, with my family, my job, my meds, I love Mickey, I will always love Mickey in a way, but he cant be a part of my life anymore. I got caught up because I missed him, and I wanted him to get there safely, but I let him go.”

“Sound like a bunch of bullshit to me.” Mandy looked up to see Trevor had walked back inside at some point. 

“and why is that…is it so hard to belive that I can move on. That I can admit, we aren’t good for eachother…as much as I wish things were different sometimes, they are what they are.”

“and your gonna let that guy treat you like shit because you're trying to prove your over Mickey?”

“He isn’t treating me like shit, I hurt him…when I ran off.”

“you didn’t answer me, he’s not listening now…would you take it back Ian…would you give up those moments to have this guy back…”

“No.” Ian finally answers.

“what was that? I don’t think I heard you.”

“No okay, …those last moments were everything ok? I spent time with him, time I didn’t think id have again and I told him I loved him. and I saw him cross that border. It doesn’t change the fact that I'm not the man I was when he went in, things have changed. And he doesn’t deserve what I did, leaving him there, thinking id be with him when he crossed that border, I thought I could do it, give up everything because it was him but in the end I couldn't. You don’t think I don’t feel like shit about that, but I do. But I have to move on and live my life. This is my life now.” He says.

Mandy stares at her friend and then punches him on the arm. “You my friend are an idiot. Ok, so you make the decision that this is where you belong, fine, I'm nott anyone to tell you anything about that. But pretending you came back here for Trevor…that’s not why you didn’t cross that border. You want to be balanced and healthy. Okay, you do that, but don’t you dare follow some guy around like a sick puppy. Mickey loves you,  understands you, so he probably gets why you really stayed, but this…you want to move on from Mickey, fine whatever, but not this Ian. Mickey would kick you ass, watching you act like this, and you would deserve it. And you damn well know it.”

“yeah…but it doesn't matter, he’s gone, I left him and came back here. I hurt Trevor by leaving, I hurt mickey by coming back. Maybe I deserve to be guilty about the decisions that led me here nd I like Trevor. He didn’t deserve what I did…”

 

Mandy shakes her head at him. “stop being a fucking martyr. If my brother were here he would tell you the same thing. If you are going to stay here because of your job and ur life, then live it. Stop chasing after someone because you want it to mean something that it doesn’t.  Do you love this guy?” she asked.

“I…I don’t….I…No,” he says finally.

“and Mickey…”

“More than anything.”

“and what are you really guilty over? Leaving…or coming back?” She asked.

“my guilt is more complicated than that one moment mandy.”

“And why did you come back, Ian? Was it for this…to fix this with your boyfriend…or was it for your job or your family…why did you come back..?”

 

  
“We got a call…lets go..” Sue calls out and Ian shrugs and hops on the rig.

“this isn’t over, I’ll see you at dinner Ian.”

\--

Mandy watches them drive away before she hears him approach her. 

“he send you here for him?” she heard the man speak from behind her and she turned around and stared him down.

“Do I look like an errand girl to you?” she bites at him.

“I don’t know…seems like your awfully determined in making sure he regrets coming back here, back to me.”

“what do you care? You don’t seem interested.” She says knowingly.

“He left me…I'm interested but i'm hurt. He hurt me.”

“oh get off it. That what you're doing? Seeing how far he will go to win you back…then what? You take him back and make him pay for it until the next time?”

Trever rolls his eyes at her. “what makes you think there will be a next time? The way I see it…it isn’t your brother he’s chasing…it’s me…He wants me, he came back for me..”

“if you're so sure of that…so sure he won't ever leave again…then why haven’t you taken him back…”

  
“Because he needs to know…im not some thing he can throw away and come back when he feels like it…”

“but you are…aren’t you? You want to play hard to get and coy…whtever, I don’t really care…but make no mistake…he didn’t come back for you. You weren't a part of that decision, not matter what he has to tell himself tot make it okay for him. If he was with Mickey wherever he is, and you showed up, he wouldn’t leave him to run off with you.  What does that tell you? He came back here for his family a little, maybe even his job or the insurance that keeps him medicated but he didn’t come back for you and if my brother showed his face on his doorstep right now, he wouldn’t think twice.  He left mickey not because he doesn’t love him, but because he does.” She said and she turned to walk away.

“that makes no logical since…if he loves him so much, why’d he break up with him in the first place…”  
 

“oh, you poor unfortunate soul. You don’t get it. And if you’re too stupid to get it…and maybe Ian doesn’t quite get it yet. Ian didn’t leave Mickey because He thinks he deserves better, he left Mickey because he thinks Mickey does.” And then she walked away.

\--

“Have you spoken to him?” Ian asks over dinner because he cant help himself.

“thought you didn’t care? It was all a mistake right?” she says sarcastically, even though she knows.

“I made a lot of mistakes Mandy. He wasn’t one of them. And you already know that.” He says. No point in pretending with mandy.

“and what were the mistakes then? Ian, what is going on with you? You’ve been chasing that guy around like…”

“Like I used to with Mickey? That’s what you want to say right? That I haven’t acted like that since Mickey…”

“Well, you said it, not me…”

“I don’t know. I was happy before…I thought I was. Then Mickey…He came back and I got lost…in his eyes, in us and I thought, who cares I just want to be with him. Fuck the boyfriend, fuck the job, all of it. Then we were so close and I just…” Ian hung his head.

“Go on…what…You came back for a reason ian…and it wasn’t for some other guy that isn't mickey, it wasn’t for your family that rarely knows your there, it could be for your job but I doubt it…what was it?”

“I'm a liability mandy. I wanted to believe but I cant. He would get caught. He would be too wrapped up in what I need…the meds…the me of it all, he would get careless and they would find him. So I came home. I reminded myself why I left him in the first place because he deserves better.”

“and you didn’t tell him that did you?” she asked softly

“No, I couldn’t. He would have talked me into staying. This way he can hate me…his hate will make him want to move on from me…it’ll…he deserves better.” He says.

“and chasing Trevor? I mean the guy is a dick…and im pretty sure he’s stringing you along to see how much he can get away with…but why?”

“I don’t know okay? Trevor was nice, I could be happy with him…I messed up.. I shouldn’t have left, I just hurt everyone more…but that’s who I am…I hurt people.”

“Oh stop that shit. Is this about…Monica?”

“I miss her… she was a disaster, but I loved her…and shes gone, and…”

“and you regret coming back…” she says knowingly.

  
“of course I do.  I hurt people, I ran away, and then I came back…and Monica is dead and I tried making it better with Trevor and my family and…fuck…I make a mess of things no matter what I do.”

“I kinda told Trevor some things, you are going to kill me for…but Ian, even without Mickey, that dude is not for you…you know that right?”

“I don’t know..I guess.”

\--

Ian and mandy spent most of the night catching up about their lives. It wasn’t until her phone rang and She excused herself and Ian couldn’t help but wonder about the decisions he had made in his life.. She was right of course, why had he been running around chasing Trevor. He knew the answer, of course, an answer he didn’t want to admit to. The person he wanted, the person he should be chasing…wasn’t here, could never be here and he had let him go. He had made a decision, to let the love of his life go, and the millions of reasons why he had done it were still here and he couldn’t change that. He knew that.

 -- 

“He’s fine.” She says slowly into her phone.  “Acting like a fucking idiot…but he’s still medicated and ok….yeah I’ll see the little one tomorrow. I’ll take care of both of your boys.” She said and she hung up looking around.


	2. Hear Me Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trevor and Ian argue. Mandy brings Yev over, and Ian does what he needs to do to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fanfiction saves us all sometimes, and for me, writing and reading it, is the only thing for me right now. 
> 
> Btw if you were wondering, which you probably aren't...Season 8...I can't even contemplate how boring this shit is right now for me. :P

“Your friend is an asshole,” Trevor states later that day. Ian rolls his eyes at the statement.

“No, she isn’t.” He states clearly, defensively. Maybe mandy is an asshole, but she’s his asshole, and Mickey too. He will let Trevor say anything about his own actions, push him into any number of things but not talk about Mandy.

“Really Ian? She comes up here mouthing off about us, about me…she knows nothing about us.” Trevor bites back.

“And you know nothing about her!” Ian snaps suddenly and then he looks up, but he doesn’t see Trevor for a second, for a split second there is someone else standing there. Someone with darker hair, someone with piercing eyes, and raised eyebrows. Someone smirking at him as if to say, I know I’m still in your head, give it up. Stop pretending Ian. Ian's eyes widen and then it’s gone, he’s back to looking at Trevor, and he sighs.

“oh really? Seems to me she’s typical southside trash, She thinks she knows a damn thing about me or you, because why? Because she thinks she knows you. She knew you, Ian, she doesn’t know. She thinks you want to run away…go back over that border….is that what you want…you want to run away?” Trevor pushes. Always pushes, but Ian supposes he does that too.

“No…Can’t run away…I’m not her.” He speaks it in a low voice, He shakes his head because that’s what it is, isn’t it. She ran away, she always did, going after whatever she wanted, but he isn’t her, he isn’t.  He thinks about Mandy’s words from yesterday, and how sure she was that if Mickey were here now he’d follow him. He wonders if that’s true. Would he? Probably. Would he go to the ends of the earth to make sure Mickey was safe and okay, he was more than sure of that. But did he want to pack his bags and run away from his job and his family to chase after a love, he wasn’t sure was enough to hold him to the ground? No, he didn’t want to do that. He wouldn’t lie to himself, that he didn’t wish there was a way, Mickey could be here and safe but that wasn’t possible.

“Not who Ian?” Trevor asks.  Ian thinks about how to answer that but comes up empty, mostly because they are interrupted by a child’s giggling and he turns to see Mandy standing in the doorway with a tiny version of Mickey in her arms. He is laughing with her.

“He’s not Monica. That’s what he was saying.” She says knowing all too well. Trevor was wrong she didn’t just know who Ian was, she knew Ian. She knew him inside and out, as only a best friend could. She knew almost all the parts of him, the only parts are hidden from her were the parts that only Mickey had seen. A piece of him that nobody would ever see but his ex. A part of him that Mickey held, and took to Mexico with him. and that is where those tattered parts of him belonged, alongside Mickey’s broken heart. The pieces that fit together could only ever be if they were together. And that was okay.

“Hey, little man,” Ian says, ignoring the look Trevor was giving him. He didn’t see Yevgeny as often as he would like, and he tried not to admit that. Tried not to admit that a part of him still yearned to be a father to the young boy, still loved him, not only because of the piece of Mickey that sparkled in those little eyes but because for a time, he had spent every moment with the little boy that he could.

He let his focus fall entirely on Yev for a little while following the little boy onto the couch to talk to him about his life and all his current favorite things. He smiled at some of his little habits that reminded him of the boy's father.

\--

“He seems to like Ian,” Trevor says from the doorway absentmindedly.

“He should, Ian was very much a father to him from the time he was born.” Mandy snarked a little but moved into the kitchen, to get some food ready for her nephew.

“Why isn’t he now then?” Trevors asked her and Mandy had half a mind to tell the dude to fuck off but she didn’t.

“Ian tries to pretend that part of his life didn’t exist. Makes leaving it all easier.”

“Leaving it all?”

“you know that’s Mickey's son right? You really know nothing about that do you?” she asked with less malice and more curiously.

“Not really, just that he’s an ex, whom Ian left me to run off with. He came back, with all the promises. Don’t know if I believe them.”  Trevor says watching Mandy.

“You shouldn’t. look. I know you think I'm a bitch.  But let's be clear, I love Ian, he is my best friend. Has been since before he and Mickey ever existed, and I didn’t know about it for a long time after it happened. I want nothing more than Ian’s  happiness. This isn’t about me protecting my brother. My brother doesn’t need or want my protection.” She says honestly.

“then why the push for Mickey.  You really think he’s  so much better for him?” Trevor asks as Mandy piddles around the kitchen she used to spend every day in.

“In some ways yes.  Maybe not in others. My brother isn’t some innocent peach and they have their problems. Always have and always will.  But as recent history has proven, when Mickey calls…Ian comes running. He has since he was fifteen years old. You think you can compete with that history? Be my guest. You’ll lose. But go ahead.” She says dishing up a plate for her nephew.

“and you think Mickey’s coming back?”

“No. not unless he needs to. Does he need to?” she asks and he shakes his head.

“and the little boy…you said…Ian pretends that part of his life doesn’t exist…if he loves the kid so much…why?”

“You are a nosey little fuck aren’t you? Isn't it obvious? That part of his life reminds him of when he got sick. He took off with the kid for fuck's sake. He loves that kid,  but that kid reminds him of Mickey, and reminds him of when he was at his worst.” She says simply going into the living room and sets the plate down for Yev.  

\--

Mandy leans over to Ian. “You might want to explain some shit to him…you cant shut it out forever.” She says and goes back to her nephew and he nods.

\--

“Mickey’s son huh?” Trevor asks that night as they sit on the back porch.

“Yes,”  Ian says shaking his head.

“nothing else to say about it?”  Trevor bites. Ian knows he’s aiming for bigger questions, and he sighs.

“Look, yes Yev is Mickey’s son. I know mandy told you some things. I don’t know what but probably more than I  have.  Yev was born out of a horrific event, an event I don’t think to think about. But I love that boy. I have loved him since he was a baby. Then I got sick and took off with him, and Mickey…is a part of all of that. You are mad that I took off… I get that, you get to be pissed about that, but this past shit…that is my life.” Ian says frustrated.

“A life that you say you want me a part of. You cant just give me the parts you want me to see Ian. That ship sailed when you fucked your ex, and took off on me. Is she right? If Mickey showed up here right now, you would leave with him again wouldn’t you?”  Ian flinched at the words. Mandy had repeated them and now Trevor, but what was he supposed to say. No? he couldn’t be sure of that.

“Depends on the circumstances I guess. I don’t know.” Ian says honestly. There was no used Lying anymore.

“and where does that leave me? Waiting for you to make up your mind, I won't do that Ian.”  Trevor’s voice started rising with every word. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say. You want me to promise that I won't run mexico? I'm right here. But I cant guarantee that if he ever needed me I wouldn’t be right there. He is…a part of me. He is my dark storm cloud, he is my lightness. He is my family. I came back because I cant have that life, and be okay. I can’t run away from everything like Monica always did, but that doesn’t take away our past. Hearing about it won't help or save anything.” Ian yells. 

“Then stop pretending that what we have is anything to you! You love him, be with him. or at the very least stop chasing after me.  You want him, but he’s  not fucking here ian!”

“I'm well fucking aware that he’s not here  Trevor!” Ian screamed, his fist colliding with the wall. And Trevor shook his head at him.

“I’m leaving.  You need help Ian, whatever you had with him is over, you need to get over that.” He said walking out.

 

“I cant!” he screamed after him.

\--

Ian sat by himself in his room for the next hour. He might be unfair,  he didn't know why he was chasing after Trevor, and maybe he was right. It wasn’t what he wanted or needed. He came back for a reason, but Trevor wasn’t that reason. He never would be. Nobody could or had touched him the way Mickey had. What he did next,  he knew he should never do, but he did it anyway.  He picked up his phone and made the phone call he swore he would never make again. 

 

“What do you want?” The voice on the other end said picking up the phone.

“Hey, Mick,” Ian spoke praying the other man wouldn’t hang up on him.

“What’s wrong?” Mickey spoke. Of course, he knew it was something, it was always something.

“Can I ask you something?”

“you just did,” Mickey said simply and Ian chuckled.

“Am I like her?” He asked and he didn’t explain but he knew he didn’t really have to.

“You are nothing like her…Is she back?” Mickey asked.

“She died,” Ian says softly in a broken voice.  Letting some tears fall from his face. He didn’t really want to talk about this right now.  “I saw Yev today,” he said to change the subject.

“Oh yeah?” Mickey asks.

“Yeah, he looks like you,” Ian says crying softly a little bit.

“ian…” Mickey says softly and Ian stops preparing for whatever Mickey has to say to him. “Ian, do me a favor, lay down in your bed, scoot to the wall, you know in that spot.” Ian listens and does what he says. “You there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Okay, now close your eyes, you see me? I’m climbing into your bed, in my spot. And I’m hold you okay?”

“Yeah ok.” He says almost actually seeing it or feeling it. 

“Now listen to me. You are not Monica, you are better, you are the light at the end of all the bullshit in that place okay. Now I want you to fall asleep in my arms, I won't hang up until I hear that soft snore. And when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself I'm just at work, that’s why I'm not there okay? Go see my son, call my sister and tell her you need her. She will come to you. Do whatever you gotta do. I will call you tomorrow night. Okay?”Mickey says softly, as Ian starts to drift off at the sound of his voice.

“Hey, Mickey?” Ian says softly.

“Yeah red?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too asshole,” Mickey says finally and Ian drifts off to a land where Mickey is laying next to him, where everything is better again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian hangs out with mandy and talks to Mickey...which is rudely interrupted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS usual, leave some feedback and tell me what you think.

Chapter Three:  (Phone Calls with Mickey) (Time with Mandy)  

\--

Ian spends the day with his best friend. Talking about his life, her life, and everything in between. He missed her. He longed for days long forgotten. Summers with Mickey and mandy.  Ian thinks about his life events as he spends the day with his friend, and momentarily letting his mind drift to the man he had left behind in all of this. The man who even as mad as he was at him had still taken the time to calm him down., with the promise of talking to him again. Ian really didn’t know what Mickey would say to him…maybe tell him to never call again or that he still hated him for what he had done.  Maybe he would not call after all and just ignore Ian. Ian wondered what he would do if he were in Mickey’s position? Not be nearly the man that Mickey was, that was for sure. ‘

Ian drives himself crazy, which is ironic because he had left Mickey, more than once, he had done that. So how was it that he was thinking of Mickey these days just as much, if not more than he did as a teenager. Except now, unlike back then he knew how Mickey had felt about him, he no longer did. He wished he knew a lot of things, about himself, about Mickey, about everything and yet here he was sitting here, thinking of all of the things he wasn’t really sure of.

 

He got lost in himself before Mandy finally pulls him out of it. “Hey! Ian, come on, focus on me ok?” She says and he shakes his head and looks at her. She is now standing in his face the look of worry evident all over her features.

“I’m ok. Just thinking.” He says softly. He wishes he could go back to his bed and imagine Mickey there in it with him again.

“You mad I came back to remind you of him?” She asks.

“No. I…I need to feel it. I know that. Just sucks. I would rather not think about what life has become.”

 

“I know Ian. Believe me, I do. Why don’t you go home and rest and I’ll bring you dinner later.” He nods at her. That’s exactly what he doesn’t need, a nap where he dreams that Mickey is in his arms again only to wake up and find that he hasn’t been there in months. To remind himself that he let other people sleep in his spot, in his bed. He groans at the thought that hadn’t really crossed his mind in the months before Mickey had escaped or even much after but that’s exactly what he was thinking of now. That wasn’t his spot to give away…he felt as if he had betrayed Mickey in so many ways and this was just piling it on. And somehow when he called Mickey sill picked up the phone to him. No hesitation, no matter what he did, Mickey was always there for him and he wondered to himself as he made his way home why that was.

If Mickey ever called him again, maybe he would ask him. Why he wasn’t madder. Why he had ever wanted him to go with him in the first place. As if he knew, and maybe he did, and the phone rang.

“Hello,” Ian said already knowing from the number who it was.

“Feeling better?” Mickeys voice filling his head. Making him warmer somehow.

“Not really but I’m fine.” Ian answers. Mickey asks more questions but Ian skirts around them, he doesn’t want this to only be about him. He wants to know about Mickey.

“Tell me about you.” And Mickey does. Tells him about his job at some bar by the ocean, says it’s a pretty sweet deal. He tells him about his life laying low and all of that. Ian is laying on his bed, his phone on speaker and he imagines being next to Mickey again like they are just having a casual conversation. One like they used to have before everything went to shit.

Just like things tend to do, go to shit, He is enjoying a lull in conversation just listening to Mickey breathe in and out when his door swings open and he rolls his eyes at the sight of Trevor standing in his doorway.

“What do you want?” He asks.

\--

Mickey hears Ian’s tone of voice change, he almost answers him with a smartass remark but when someone else answers him, it is apparent to Mickey that that tone was not for him. Ian might have even forgotten he had him on speaker.  He hears some guy go on about Ian not going to the shelter anymore, and how shitty it is of him to abandon the kids.

“I go see them…when you’re not there.” Ian answers tiredly.  Shelter…teen center…whatever it is, Mickey thinks he knows who the asshole who interrupted his and Ian’s perfectly friendly conversation. The ex…the one Ian had been with when they went on the run and almost made it to the border…Mickey had often wondered if Ian had gone back to him…Mandy had mentioned that he had been trying to…so what had changed? This guy showed up to see Ian and Ian didn’t even sound interested.  Mickey wondered if it was his fault. If these phone calls were hurting Ian’s life, making him not want to live in the world he chose to go back to. As much as he hated that Ian left him at that damn border, he didn’t want Ian suffering because of it.  He was already worried as fuck about him. It’s why he had sent his sister home, to begin with. To check on things.   


“Trevor…I’m tired, we are done with this, I already said that. So…you got your wish, you’ve been wanting me to leave you alone for months now, now I am.”  He hears Ian say.

“So then what was this shit. Trying to get me back…what was it all about?” the other man says. Mickey decides He doesn’t like this prick and Ian can do better.

 

“I lost my mom, I was lost, I wanted…something there. I lost everything when I came back here!” Ian says losing himself and Mickey knows that if Ian goes on he’s going to say things that he doesn’t want to, maybe even things he isn’t ready for Mickey to hear so he clears his throat.

 

“Hey, …over here assface,” Mickey says.

\--

Ian looks around…his phone is laying on his bed…still lit up. Shit, Mickey had heard all of this. He’s surprised he didn’t hang up. Trevor is now staring at his phone like it’s on fire.

 

 

“Is that Mickey?” trevor asks him. Ian freezes looking to his phone and picking it up.

**Author's Note:**

> mysticallygallavich @tumblr
> 
> Took a nap, so now I can write until this toothache becomes too much. See what I can come up with tonight.


End file.
